This posting is intended as a quasi-reply towards Vince DelMontes blog entry about Building the Body Women Want. Although I am of the opinion that Vince did a good job researching the topic and bringing his own experiences into the equation, I think that he still lacks some rather crucial points, when it comes to the correlation of having a muscular/athletic body and being successful in attracting and thereafter leading a successful and ultimately happy relationship.

Too much is too much

It is a great idea to acquire a physique that looks good from the standpoint of health and happiness in general. You are more likely to feel good in a body whose looks you like and are more likely to be healthy even high in age. But do not make the mistake of distorting perspectives. A great-looking body is not a guarantee to be healthy nor is it destined to make your happy. Women normally know that and do not only have a look at the physique of their counterpart alone. As for the physique, you have to find a good measurement of what is too much if you want to be regarded as attractive by most women – everyone getting close to looking like a bodybuilder ready to compete at stage will scare away most women with his look only – too much is too much. Looking lean and athletic, with a firm musculature that is fit to how your body is built will most likely score you the most points.

The source of happiness

Looking great does not imply being happy. If you are internally in conflict with what and who you are, you have no chance of acquiring happiness by means of training for looks only. You will put on a good amount of muscle and increase in size, you will shed body fat and look ripped, but still you are bound to feel unsatisfied when looking in the mirror – even if you are satisfied with how you look like, there are countless other problems that can cause you sadness. Do not become bound to the idea that training for a physique equates becoming happy, not even from the perspective that more muscle equals more women equals more sex equals more happiness.

True happiness always comes from within. If you are content with what and who you are and know where you are heading in life, you are likely to feel fulfilled and happy

As within so without

Women generally have a good sense for what they are confronted with and normally auto-check their counterpart for authenticity. If you radiate black clouds from the inside but act happy-go-lucky on the outside, showing off your great physique, women will most likely will label you as inauthentic and therefore avoid you – nothing good can come from someone who is not in alignment with himself, he is likely to drift off into depression or become aggressive – he is everything but in balance. If you want to score with the women, you do best by being who you are and radiating that you love who you are. Women know that if a man is in love with what he is, he is much better at truly loving her as what she truly is.

The power of resonance

It’s a fact that regardless of what I have written prior to this point, muscular and athletic men still score at women, even if they radiate black clouds and are incongruent in what they are. This does not prove my perspective wrong, because now resonance comes into play. Resonance is the law, that you attract what you emit. If you emit waves of (un)conscious thought that you have to look great on the outside, although you feel miserable on the inside, you will attract people that share your mind set. They will probably look great and are great to lead conversations with, seem lovable and sex is also far beyond okay – but as you proceed deeper down the minds of these individuals, you will most likely notice very soon that they face their very own identity crisis – they are internally incongruent and do not truly love themselves to the fullest – and are thereby unable to do the same with you.

This rule applies to everyone without exception. If you are subject to a case where this rule does not seem to apply, you either have not discovered the true thoughts of each other or already interally identify with a different mind set without noticing.

What women really want

The question “What do women really want” can therefore not be answered in general. It depends completely on the consciousness vibration the women emits – what does the woman identify herself with and hence attracts into her life by own choice? Women who are generally focused more on the outward aspects of a person may well fall for a breathtaking physique with no substance behind it. Others will look at the mental match more than on the physique. As a rule of thumb, it is a safe bet to have good chances when you both look good (lean, athletic) and are at perfect peace with who and what you are – you will attract women of the same kind and are far more likely to begin a fulfilling relationship. Looking good ultimately is only a side-effect of being at peace – if you truly love yourself, you will gravitate naturally towards keeping your body in shape just because it is worth the effort.

Conclusion

It is common sense, after all: Be yourself and nothing but yourself. This way, you will naturally look good and seem attractive to the women. Do not overcomplicate the matter – for most people it is hard enough to attain this state of mind altogether. If you feel that you are amongst them: Keep trying, you will get better.

In love for life

Simon

During the summer camp with my youth group this weekend, I again ran into an interesting discovery as to how resonation works with your environment which perpetuated my sublime belief, that we are not merely islands, living for ourselves – and that we influence other beings with our words and deeds tremendously.

The incident

Amongst every group, there are people you like more and people you like less and while amongst our teenagers there is nobody I particularly dislike, there is at least one of them who regularly manages to drive me crazy and let me lose my temper – something I hold deep regret about afterwards. Over the course of the first 24 hours of the stay (half of the stay elapsed), I had gotten myself pretty deep into the problematic belief that I simply have no other option but to feel aggressive and uneasy about this particular individual – but it was then, when the revelation suddenly came upon me, as I was talking to my girlfriend, how our environment really is nothing more but a mirror that what we emit.

The revelation

Standing there and thinking about my own words, a sudden flash of enlightenment came upon me. I was merely saying this words but not understanding them  - on an emotional level. This sudden change in perception had a equally sudden change in my environment. I chose the first stranger to walk by to conduct the first experiment – I walked by, focused him and just smiled. Like many of his fellows, drinking booze and stirring the embers of their barbecue grill, he did not seem to be particularly amazed or amused by the moment but then he suddenly catched my smile – and smiled himself. The surge of emotions that ran through my body was beyond description – I did not feel too extatic, but it simply was the confirmation: It was true after all – our environment is a mirror of what we think, feel and act like.

The ramifications

Although I did not see through the challenge of always applying this principle, the second half of the stay proved to be the better half in terms of understanding with my teenager group – and the particular fellow straining my nerves. We got along well and had pretty good talks in the evening – in fact, I was surprised, how profound he was able to express himself- it was lovely to experience, a memory, carved in my heart more than all of the quarrel stirred.

The principle

The question, how this principle can be applied to your situation specifically should not remain unanswered. It is fairly easy to implement, if you stick to some basic rules

• Never cease to assess your beliefs, thoughts and actions – were they beneficial to you and your environment (which means in turn: to you as well)?
• Always strive to uncover and elimiate prejudice as it blurs your perception of what is and therefore disables you to connect with your enviroment
• Compare yourself with your environment to your liking, but stay away from assigning different value to different beings – a difference in value is equal to a prejudice and will render you unable to connect with others
• Ideally, just smile whereever it seems suitable and possible – just in case this is the way you want to be treated and feel (smiling, that is)
• Remain true to your own feelings. If you feel down, do not force yourself to trick yourself into something you aren’t – but feel the best you can without corrupting your identity

Obeying these rules is a stony path to follow, especially the self-assessment is a time- and nerve-consuming process, done over and over again but without progression you are destined to stay where you are at forever. This investment in your mental resources will soon start to pay off thousandfold. As soon as you start to transform what you emit, there will be a increasing number of individuals reflecting this thoughts, emotions or words – and with every individual soul on your side, your movement towards a betterment in your environment will gain momentum. Do not force it – let it happen naturally. Be gentle towards others’ response but stern towards your own mental emission.

Shine and enjoy the light you will stand in.

Shine on,

Simon